18 Years And Above Only: 7 Scary Things You Had No Idea Can Happen To You After S*-x

If you grew up in a religious and/or restrictive household, chances are good that, somewhere along the way,

you heard some pretty strange ideas about s* x. Specifically, what might happen to you after having it.

You know, like, being smote by a rogue lightning bolt conveniently right after having premarital s*x for the first time. Or going blind after Mast* bation (Which isn’t the same as having s*x, obviously, but related to it.) Or having s* x and then getting pregnant. And dying.

Obviously, none of those things are actually going to happen to you. Still, there are some pretty weird potentially scary things that can happen to you after having s* x. They aren’t due to the wrath of God, obviously–I am almost certain that a bolt of lightning is not going come through your ceiling and smite you in bed, should you decide to have s* x–and they are also, for the most part, pretty rare.

Chances are good that if you have s* x, and follow all of the necessary precautions for it (consent, protection, lubrication, etc.) your experience should be a good one. Still, it is interesting, if nothing else, to know about what might happen after having s* x.

If you have really great s* x–some mind-blowing s* x, if you will–this can actually cause something called “transient global amnesia,” which is a condition that causes sudden memory loss. Researchers aren’t sure what causes it, why it only affects people for such a specific amount of time (patients with this condition usually lose their past 24 hours of memory and feel hazy on the details of recent memories). The good news? This is both extremely rare–it only affects three to five out of 100,000 people–and temporary.

Cramping After An Orga-sm

Orga sming during s*-x is usually (always?) thought of as being a good thing. But in some situations, it’s actually not so great–vag*-nal orga sms cause the uterus to contract, which can sometimes lead to painful cramps after s*-x, which are triggered by the contractions in the uterus. If this happens to you every now and then, don’t worry about it–it should go away after a few minutes. But if you find that you always feel crampy after s8-x, and the pain lasts for a few hours, you might want to see a doctor, since this is a sign of endometriosis.

Rug Burn On Your Vag

This one makes sense, if you think about it–s8-x involves friction, and usually at least a little bit of pubic hair, and those two things together can cause some irritation. So, if you notice a rash down there after s8-x, don’t freak out right away. It could just be rug burn, which goes away in a day or two

people expect to feel totally euphoric after s8-x. But a lot of people actually experience something called postcoital dysphoria (PCD for short), which basically just means that you experience feelings of anxiety or depression. It doesn’t matter if the s8-x was super great or not–if you feel sad, you feel sad. The best thing to do is let your partner know what’s going on and ask for a little alone time.

Bleeding

If you’ve read THE BELL JAR, you’ll know that there’s this really harrowing part in which the main character, Esther, has s8-x for the first time and basically bleeds out afterwards and has to go to a doctor afterwards to make it stop. (It’s a great book! You should read it.) Anyway, here’s the good news: Blood loss at that level is extremely rare. Still, bleeding after s8-x (whether it’s your first time or not) can happen sometimes for a number of reasons–you may have a slight tear when having s8-x, or have a benign growth, or may have some spotting due to birth control pills. If it’s just a little bit of blood, it’s probably nothing to worry about. But if it happens more than once, see a doctor just to be safe.

Yeast Infections

Are yeast infections scary? I’m inclined to say yes! Anyway, if you have s8-x with a guy, this can increase your chances of getting a yeast infection, since guys’ se men has a HIGHER PH LEVEL THAN THE VAG*-NA. (This means that p8nises are basic and vag*-nas are acidic, if you were wondering.) If you’re using cond8ms (which you should be doing anyway), this shouldn’t really be an issue. But if you have an IUD and haven’t been using cond8ms with your partner, just know that you might be slightly more likely to get a yeast infection

You Smell…Off

 

 

 Noticing a weird smell down there after s*-x? Like, a different smell? Don’t worry about it. Smelling a little, uh, stronger after s*-x is pretty common–you’re basically taking two different sets of ge nitals and, uh, mixing them together (whether you’re havng s*-x with a guy or a girl), which means that a new scent can emerge afterwards. Plus, s*-x can sometimes cause microdermabrasions in the vag*-na, which, while harmless and more or less painless, can also emit some inflammation-based smells for a few days. Basically, if you feel like you have a weird scent down there after s*-x, don’t freak out (and definitely don’t douche or use a heavy-duty vag*-nal wash, which will make the smell go away temporarily but mess with your vag*-nal flora). It’s natural! It should go away within a day or so.